Peaceful-5 Days before DSAEK Surgery

1/31/13 Thursday

Well, I’m now 5 days away from my surgery.  I haven’t been worried about the roads like I was before I started praying, in faith, for God to make clear, safe paths through the mountains for us.  Now and then a tiny worry will enter my mind and I just say, “Nope, God will clear the way and be with us.  There is nothing to worry about.” Same with the surgery.  I know so many people are praying for me…I really can feel it, a total peace from God. It’s awesome!  I’m excited to see better, even though it will be one or more months before it clears up for good vision after the surgery.

DSAEK surgery-weather and roads?

1/25/13 Friday

The weather and road condition for our drive to Portland for my DSAEK surgery is something the devil is using to try to cause fear in my life.  I just keep giving it to God, knowing that if He wants me to get there at this time for my surgery, He will clear the way.  I’m trusting Him to do that for me.  My awesome husband is taking two weeks off of work to be my chauffeur and “nurse”. 

2-1/2 Weeks until first DSAEK

1/18/13 Friday 

My corneal surgery for my 1^st. (left) eye is in just 2-1/2 weeks! The PCIP (Pre-existing Condition Insurance Plan) is in place and it’s such a relief.  I feel I’m ready, or at least as ready as one can be for such a thing.  God will have to give me the courage and strength to go through with it when the time comes, because it’s not something I can do on my own.  I know He will help me do it! 

Surgery Date

Well, the time has come and I now have a surgery date for my first corneal transplant.  The date is February 5th. 2013, in Portland with Dr. Mark Terry who was the first in the U.S. to do this type of surgery and has a success rate well into the 90% range.  My husband and I will be staying in Portland for 7-14 days before returning home, depending on how things go. 

I was just approved for pre-existing health insurance.  What a huge praise!  Our costs have gone from $60,000+ to more like $12,000-ish.  (for both eye surgeries) Of course, now we're praying for provision for that amount, since we don't have it.  I am hoping to get both eyes done in 2013. We know that God will provide and give us wisdom for how we can pay for the expenses.

Now that it's a go, I've been somewhat anxious, especially since it all happens with me being awake!  Yep, awake!  I know this is something I cannot do, so God will have to enable me when the time comes.  I had to be put out just to get my wisdom teeth out, so the thought of my eye being cut open and a layer of my cornea being peeled off like wallpaper and a new layer of donor tissue put on, is beyond me.  

Then, there's the donor tissue.  I'm so thankful for it, yet so sad for the donor family.  At the same time, I remember in my grief after my father died, getting a letter notifying us that two people had regained their sight due to my dad's donor eye tissue.  I burst into tears, but it made me so happy to know that his death helped someone else.  So, maybe that fact will give a little solace to the donor family and me as well.  I will be praying for them. I sure never thought I'd find myself in this position back then.  

My mother recently had cornea transplants in both of her eyes and she is doing well and seeing better than she has in her whole life.  Her procedure, called a DMEK, was a little different than mine will be and my outcome will more than likely not be as good (she's seeing 20/25 without correction and she just had her first surgery in late June and the second in late September);  the reason for the differing outcomes is that they are removing the same amount of my tissue, but replacing it with a thicker layer of the donor tissue, resulting in my cornea ultimately being thicker than it was originally. (called a DSAEK)  The recovery time is longer as well.  Months as opposed to weeks.  This is still better than the full transplants they used to do, which took 18 months or so to recover from.

I guess that concludes my update. Please keep me in prayer as the time gets closer for my surgery.  I know God will be with me and has my best in mind.

Update: Surgery Consult & Evaluation

"I'm blind in one eye and can't see out of the other" used to be a funny saying.  Now, for me, it's reality.  I still laugh when I say it, though, just to stay on a positive note in spite of the update I now write. 

I recently went to Portland, Oregon to meet with Dr. Mark Terry at Devers Eye Institute.  He's a cornea specialist.  He was the first to do this type of surgery (DSAEK-a type of partial corneal transplant) in the U.S. and second in the world.  He has a 98 percent success rate.  He's very likable and knowledgable but does not have a god complex like many in the medical field.  His evaluation of my eyes was that my Fuchs has progressed to the point of needing a corneal transplant.  My left eye should be done first and soon as I'm now legally blind in that eye under the glare test. (that means in real life situations...not the artificial, ideal conditions of a normal eye test)  My right eye will be done following a successful recovery of my left eye.

I knew this was coming, but a sort of disbelief still hit as I contemplated what it truly meant.  I get a cornea transplant or go completely blind.  I get my eye cut open, a layer of my cornea peeled off "like wallpaper from a wall" and a new layer of donor tissue put in or lose my sight completely and permanently.  What a horrible thought!  And what a wonderful thought!  It's scary, and yet it's a cure for my disease.  There are many eye diseases that cannot be cured;  I thank God that mine is one that can.  It's amazing what surgeons are able to do these days.

The problem now is...money.  It's a pre-existing illness for my plan, so it's not covered at all.  Each eye will cost approximately $30,000 plus the travel costs to Portland, and food & lodging for the week of the surgery and post-surgery appointments before I'm released to go home.  So, we're working on researching all avenues because time is of the essence.  I sometimes worry about the provision for this upcoming necessary surgery, but I serve a BIG God and I know He has a plan for my eyes and has promised to provide for my needs.  He loves me very dearly so I keep trusting in His perfect will and timing for all of this.  He owns the cattle on a thousand hills and the gold in every mine so the amount of money I need is nothing to Him.

Please be in prayer with me for this.  For God to provide the financing I need.  Also, please pray for my mother as she recovers from her first corneal transplant recently and as she prepares for another one in October.  I believe in the power of prayer.  Thank you!  I appreciate your support more than you know.

"Brave?"

I recently had a friend of mine call me brave. Brave? Me? I don't think so! I am sometimes on the verge of tears and and feeling quite weak, emotionally and physically. Brave is a word normally used to refer to war heroes and soldiers; like our troops fighting in Iraq right now for our safety and freedom. Brave is a word used for the strong, and those that protect! Brave is not a word that I would use to describe myself!

I usually feel as though I am one of the weakest people I know. Some would even say I have a weak constitution. I have Celiac (wheat gluten allergy) and many other health issues and yes, I have fears...The thought of going blind scares me! The thought of getting a corneal transplant scares me! The thought of losing another loved one scares me! I know from experience that it's what my mind comes up with ahead of time that is scary, not the event itself, although it can be uncomfortable. It's a game of "what-ifs."

So, it's a mental thing, right? Well, in a way...I mean, thoughts and feelings are one thing...but what we do with them or in spite of them is another, right? For instance, I am afraid of flying. I love it, but it scares me to death. On the one hand, thinking of falling out of the sky all those feet down to the ground is scary! On the other hand, from up there in the sky I can see the beauty of God's creation in a whole new way and it's easier to see how God can keep track of what's going on in each of our lives. I remember that He loves me dearly and my life is in His hands. So, in spite of the fears, I went on an airliner and then a small plane during my recent trip to California and Acapulco. I also faced the fear of being on a cruise ship out away from land.

How did I do it? With the strength of the Lord, I "bravely" stepped or should I say flew out in faith. I faced my fears, but not alone. One of my now favorite verses is one I memorized for my first airline flight..."Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9 (NASB)

Don't get me wrong, that's not to say that I never tremble or fear...I just know that God is with me and I continue to do what scares me in spite of how I feel at the time. No matter what comes my way, I lean on God and His love to give me the strength and courage to face it. So now you see why it's not me who's brave, but God's strength in me that causes me to act brave. I am weak, but He is strong. I also have many wonderful friends and family members who pray for me and lift me up when I'm in a weak moment and that encourages me to face another day. (but that's another whole post)

Here is a Kathy Troccoli song that is close to my heart and very applicable as I face an uncertain future concerning my sight. I hope it will encourage you to be...brave.