"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.." (Matthew 6:24 Holy Bible)
Showing posts with label eye disease. Show all posts
Showing posts with label eye disease. Show all posts

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Re: Progression Check Up

Some days you just want to go back to bed & stay there; or even better, for Jesus to return. Today has been one of those days for me.

I went to see a corneal specialist to check on the progression of my Fuch's. I've tried to stay positive, but what I pretty much knew, was confirmed. My Fuch's is continuing to progress and I am now facing some decisions regarding getting the first of two corneal transplants sooner, rather than later; like within the next year. :(

I nearly broke down in sobs as they tried to explain there's nothing more they can do with my prescription to help me see any better. In fact, my eyesight isn't much different with my glasses than without. I held the emotions down at the time and now those emotions are just stuck until I finally do break down, but my heart is heavy over this. I just feel like I'm in a fog. It's like the death of a loved one who's been terminally ill for a while. You knew the end was coming, but when it does you're still in shock. That's how I feel. I know God will get me through this as He has so many other majorly difficult things in this life, but sometimes I just feel a bit overwhelmed. It's tough being a human.

I got my corneal thickness checked for the first time. This is one of the best indicators of where you are with the disease. They are about 20% thicker than normal. They also tried to check my cell count (cells die off with this disease), but were unable to get a reading due to the thickness of my cornea.

There are basically three options for me. 1) Do nothing...and continue to go blind. (not fun so far) 2) Some type of partial corneal transplant. (there are several, but haven't been around very long) 3) A full corneal transplant. (Been around a long time, but some doctors won't even do them. There are other factors, too. All the surgeries have possible risks and all have possible benefits. Next week I will be going to Portland for another appointment with another corneal specialist. My husband is driving both myself and my mother, as she also has this disease. Fuch's is hereditary, so if anyone reading this is related to my mother's birth father, please get checked out for this disease. You have a 50/50 chance of developing it now or in the future, as do your children. I will do another update after my appointment next week.

You can't tell by looking at me that I have this disease, nor can you tell how the world looks to me. If you'd like to see examples of how I see, CLICK HERE. These examples are not exactly how I see. Some are far worse and some are better or just different. That's the nature of this disease. The symptoms can vary greatly from person to person.

As you can imagine, seeing like this is causing quite a number of difficulties with my photography, which is much of the reason I've not been updating my blogs or facebook page much in the past year or so and have had to turn down jobs. It's so frustrating when I can't tell if the image is in sharp focus, has enough contrast or saturation, etc...and it's very difficult to shoot outdoors due to the glare issues this disease has caused me. Upgrading my equipment, would help with the capturing side of the images, (money I don't have especially looking at possible surgery) but I may still need to find someone to post-process or tell me how my adjustments look as I do them, until...idk.

For now, I just need your prayers and support. Thanks for reading and caring.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

He said, "Think Positive"

"Think positive" he said, "it could be just a fluctuation." Bless his heart, my eye doctor, he always tries to be so encouraging. I tried to think positive but by the time I got back to my truck, I was in tears. I will try to think positive but more than that, I will pray; but the reality is that my eye disease is most likely progressing. The corneal swelling I've been experiencing in my left eye has been causing my glasses to be somewhat bothersome & even useless; between my blurry vision, eye strain and headaches. There's more guttata than at my last check up and the cornea in my left eye is swollen quite a bit. The doctor suggested I stay hydrated & take my hydration drops, too. I think it's time to get my cell count and cornea thickness checked by a specialist. Fun stuff.

UGH!!! Do you mind if I just say that as I also await results of skin biopsy this week, that I am feeling a little picked on? Good. I know God has a plan and that plan is for ultimate good. I also know that other people have it a whole lot worse than I. Still, I'm only human and continue to have human emotions. So often what I know about God and His work in my life and what I feel, differ. That's why it's so important that I act on Truth, not feeling. Easy to say, hard to do.

I heard someone say on Christian radio this week, that our lives are like making a batch of cookies. Each individual ingredient doesn't always taste good on it's own just as situations in our lives can seem bad at times, yet when they are all mixed together it produces something very desirable. I am looking forward to my life becoming that yummy cookie. In the meantime, I will continue to try to learn from the experiences and challenges God allows for my growth, pray for healing and if God chooses not to heal me, I know He'll be with me through what awaits me with cornea transplants and such. I will take my emotions to God in prayer again, cry a puddle at His feet and trust Him for the future and to love and comfort me today.

"May your unfailing love be my comfort, according to your promise to your servant." Psalm 119:76

Skin biopsy update: benign! Praise the Lord!

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