"Natural Eye Care"

Today I ordered some vitamins and eye drops from the Natural Eye Care website. From reading all about them, I feel pretty good about trying them especially since they contain all and more items that are in my other vitamins but some of the most important ingredients are at more therapeutic levels and the fact that I won't have to take some of them separately. I just can't swallow all of the different things that are good for vision. We'll see how they work...
Click here to go to the Natural Eye Care website. Choose the eye problem you have to get a list of things you can do to help your condition.

I am also going to do a better job of not eating the foods that I'm allergic/sensative to. That's part of the vision diet as well as my own health regimine that I've kind of been fudging on for a while. I have gained some weight due to that and also I'm sure it is not helping my mood any to eat the junk foods, and even healthy foods if I'm allergic to them.

"There is Joy"

I've had a couple of bad vision days recently and am also struggling with a bit of depression. Satan tried to deter me from going to church this morning. I really wanted to just drop my kids off and go back home and crawl back into bed. But I didn't let him win. Take that, satan!

I'm so glad I went to church. The music is always great, but one of the songs was especially uplifting for me to sing today. It goes like this...

In The Presence of the Lord

There is joy, there is joy,
There is joy in the presence of the Lord.
There is joy that's full, there is joy that's free;
There is joy in the presence of the Lord.

There is peace, there is peace,
There is peace in the presence of the Lord.
There is perfect peace when I rest in Him,
There is peace in the presence of the Lord.

There is love, there is love,
There is love in the presence of the Lord.
There is love that's real no matter how I feel,
There is love in the presence of the Lord.

Stand and sing, stand and sing,
Stand and sing in the presence of the Lord.
Stand and sing your praise to the risen King;
Stand and sing in the presence of the Lord.

Another thing that was a real blessing to me today was that before my husband left to go out of town for the week, (at 3am this morning) he left post-it notes all over the place! One on the bathroom mirror that reads, "I love you!" One on the coffee pot (that was ready to brew when I got up this morning, just like it is nearly every morning) that reads, "Just for you, babe!" One in the refridgerator that reads, "I'm thinking of you." One in the car that reads, "Miss me yet?" I'm sure I'll find more througout the week. He's so sweet! I am so blessed to have such a wonderful man for a husband. He even left some just for our girls in their rooms/bathroom.

Anyway, I just thought I'd share that with you all. It's so good to be reminded that even in hard times we can have joy, peace, love and rest in the presence of the Lord and in the blessings He bestows upon us. Simple truths of God's character! He is always the same, no matter how I feel! I praise Him for that!

"Shut Windows"

I found a poem this morning that I believe can be beneficial to all. Sometimes our sight is good throughout life. Not everyone has eye problems. Not everyone with Fuchs' totally loses their sight before having it restored through corneal transplants. Some eyes are supernaturally healed. Some people are born blind and are blind throughout life, with no option of transplants. Whatever your degree of blindness or renewed vision, I believe this poem is uplifting.

It makes me think of that song, "Open our eyes, Lord, we want to see Jesus..." I always close my eyes when I sing that song. Why is that? Well, when we shut, or cannot see with, our literal eyes it enables us to close out everything else, open the eyes of our heart and just focus on Him. There's the other song, "Open the eyes of my heart, Lord, open the eyes of my heart, I want to see you." I can't sing that with my eyes open either and what a blessing that is! To truly see Him! Just Him! Whether blind or sighted, if only for a moment in our busy day, or for each and every moment of our busy day. To see Him, to know Him, to trust Him, to experience Him, to serve Him, to love Him...to see...Him.

"Shut Windows"

When the outer eye grows dim,

turns the inner eye towards Him

who makes the darkness light.

Fairer visions you may see,

Live in nobler company

And in larger liberty

Than the men of sight.

He sometimes shuts the windows but to open hidden doors,

Where all who will may wander bold and free,

For His house has many mansions, and the mansions many floors,

And every room is free to you and me.

~John Oxenham~

"Brave?"

I recently had a friend of mine call me brave. Brave? Me? I don't think so! I am sometimes on the verge of tears and and feeling quite weak, emotionally and physically. Brave is a word normally used to refer to war heroes and soldiers; like our troops fighting in Iraq right now for our safety and freedom. Brave is a word used for the strong, and those that protect! Brave is not a word that I would use to describe myself!

I usually feel as though I am one of the weakest people I know. Some would even say I have a weak constitution. I have Celiac (wheat gluten allergy) and many other health issues and yes, I have fears...The thought of going blind scares me! The thought of getting a corneal transplant scares me! The thought of losing another loved one scares me! I know from experience that it's what my mind comes up with ahead of time that is scary, not the event itself, although it can be uncomfortable. It's a game of "what-ifs."

So, it's a mental thing, right? Well, in a way...I mean, thoughts and feelings are one thing...but what we do with them or in spite of them is another, right? For instance, I am afraid of flying. I love it, but it scares me to death. On the one hand, thinking of falling out of the sky all those feet down to the ground is scary! On the other hand, from up there in the sky I can see the beauty of God's creation in a whole new way and it's easier to see how God can keep track of what's going on in each of our lives. I remember that He loves me dearly and my life is in His hands. So, in spite of the fears, I went on an airliner and then a small plane during my recent trip to California and Acapulco. I also faced the fear of being on a cruise ship out away from land.

How did I do it? With the strength of the Lord, I "bravely" stepped or should I say flew out in faith. I faced my fears, but not alone. One of my now favorite verses is one I memorized for my first airline flight..."Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9 (NASB)

Don't get me wrong, that's not to say that I never tremble or fear...I just know that God is with me and I continue to do what scares me in spite of how I feel at the time. No matter what comes my way, I lean on God and His love to give me the strength and courage to face it. So now you see why it's not me who's brave, but God's strength in me that causes me to act brave. I am weak, but He is strong. I also have many wonderful friends and family members who pray for me and lift me up when I'm in a weak moment and that encourages me to face another day. (but that's another whole post)

Here is a Kathy Troccoli song that is close to my heart and very applicable as I face an uncertain future concerning my sight. I hope it will encourage you to be...brave.

#1 "Diagnosis..."

It still seems unreal to me that this blog is even necessary...but it is. Let me start at the beginning...

Two years ago this May, my two daughters and I went to the eye Dr. for a routine visit. Just a check-up to make sure things were fine. Maybe get a new pair of glasses for myself or try contact lenses or both. Well, they ended up asking if we wanted a digital photograph taken of our eyes. I wasn't going to since it was $12 each and not something the insurance normally covered, but something made me decide to do it anyway. When the Dr. showed us the photos on the monitor of each of our eyes, I (being a photographer) noticed that mine looked blurry and soft while the girls' photos looked sharp and clear. I asked, "Why does my photo look so hazy?" He said he would talk to me about mine after we look at the girls'. I didn't really hear much after that except something about my daughter needing glasses until some muscles were strengthened. All sorts of things went through my mind, but I was still not prepared to hear his words regarding my eyesight. He told me he thought I had a rare, degenerative corneal eye disease, called Fuchs' Endothilial Corneal Dystrophy. It could someday cause blindness. Sometimes it happens sooner and sometimes later, sometimes faster and sometimes slower, but not to worry about it right now. He suggested I go to a specialist to get a second opinion and confirmation and he'd check them again in a year to see if there were any changes.

I went home kind of shell-shocked. I didn't really know how to process what he told me, and I can't say now just how I responded since it is all a vague memory now and I wasn't thinking straight. I do know that I called my husband and told him the strange news, made an appointment with the specialist and called my pastor for prayer suppport. I also spent time in prayer, trying to maintain, while I awaited the upcoming appointment.

The day of the appointment came and it was confirmed. I did have this mysterious disease in my eyes. I then went home and began to grieve for something I'd not yet lost. I thought about grandkids I'd never see, my own dear family, the sunsets and landscapes, thought about what it would mean to live in a dark world. Being blind has always been one of the worse things I could imagine. After a realistic amount of time spent in tears, I moved on to depression and proceeded to anger and fear and frustration with those that didn't share my emotions over the diagnosis and all of the other emotions associated with the grief process. I felt alone.

Then, there came a moment in time where I again got on my knees, placed all of it at the foot of Jesus and began to get back to "life as usual." I knew that God could heal me of this disease, and I trusted Him to do what was best for me. I also knew that nothing would change by worrying about and dwelling on it. In the meantime, I began to look into dietary helps, vitamins and other things that may possibly help, as well.

Some may say that giving it to God and moving on was a type of denial about the illness. I disagree. I do; however, think that it caused me to miss some of the signs that the disease was progressing. It's not that I had forgotten about it, but it wasn't something I thought about on a daily basis...it was definitely on the back burner.